more part 4
Winter 2012
Bruce texted and called several times over the next few days, but I just couldn’t talk to him. I can’t explain what was going on in my head. I just didn’t think, I was good enough for someone so nice. I was afraid, I would hurt him and that’s the last thing I wanted to do. He deserved someone as equally kind and religious as he was.
Three days later I came home to find a card taped to my door. I knew immediately, it was Bruce’s handwriting. The card was a face with tears running down the model’s cheeks. Inside Bruce wrote:
_“My Darling,_ _I do not know what has upset you, so. I can only tell you that my heart is broken. I love you. I love you. I love you. Maybe, I am not showing you that love. Maybe, I have caused you pain. It is not my intention to ever cause you to hurt. I am hurting now because you are not with me._ _I am not perfect, nor am I a Saint. I am a man who believes in God. Who believes in being honest and kind to all of mankind. It is not my place to judge you or your past deeds. I want you to live a good life. A righteous life, because I am selfish. I want to_ _be with you always, not only in this life but in the after life of Heaven._ _Yes, we are different in many ways. But our differences compliment each other. You love life, you love people and conversation. I am amazed at how quickly you can strike up a conversation with someone while we are standing in line at a store or restaurant. I am quiet. I prefer not to be noticed in a crowd of people and I have had to get used to the fact that you like to talk and people like to talk to you. You are like_ _me in some ways. You are kind and loving._ _I do not know what has brought about this self doubt about our relationship, but I can not bare to be apart from you. Please, just talk to me. I will pray that you search your heart and that you find my love there. I pray we will be together once again, because you are all I want in this world. But if it is not meant to be know that I love you and I wish you well and that God Blesses my beautiful friend always._ _With love and respect._ _Bruskiasban Albrecht_
I laid in bed that night reading his words over and over. Bruce was so kind and honest even after I left him and spent the last three days ignoring him he couldn’t say anything bad to me. Could I ever measure up? Would I ruin his life?